Where Am I headed? (My story lives on…)

I’ve come to a pivotal point in my life. There are many choices that have been made, and for better and for worse I have survived them all. Still, what remains to be seen is who it is that I am becoming. There are battles that I fight daily. Doubt creeps in even in moments of triumph. Regrets are but smoke in the mirror. Some days I blow out the flames. Some days I seem to pour gas onto the fire. Admittedly, I am tired of the journey but I press on feet blistered by worn out soles. Where am I going? Who do I turn to? Is there rest for my soul?

How do I move on when I am stuck in a zone of emptiness? I am so full and still so incomplete. I am soft in vulnerability, yet rigid and cold in pain. I love you and dislike you just the same. I am restless not willing to change. I am not ready for Love, yet I long for you. I am tired of the game, and still I continue to play. I have not found my way off of this carousel even when it stands still. I am broken. Unshackled but I cannot relinquish the chain. I dwell in a dark hallway and deaf to the light calling my name.