Thought of the Week

The Long and Short of it all

Often times I imagine having Love fill the air. That is as they say “the engame”. The journey to that final destination, as exciting as it may be, often is filled with hardships. What could and should one expect on their journey of love is the question that many of us fail to prepare for. We tend to inundate ourselves with long-term aspirations, that we lose sight of short-term goals. Having Love fill the air, that is what I often imagine. But first, I must crawl before I walk.

Many of us go into dating and relationships seeking what it is that we think we desire from that person. I believe that is the first of many missteps in our journey. Love is not about receiving. I know our capitalistic society has brainwashed us into believing differently, but if you will allow me to I will explain how this is true. Love, purely and simply is about giving. In order to know what it is you have to offer, you must begin to uncover what is your God given talents and purpose in life. In every situation or circumstance when someone comes into your life, (whether it be for a reason, a season, or a lifetime) you have the necessary tools that will aid that person in blossoming to their fullest potential. But, how can you do this if you yourself are not prepared in the way that you need to be. Unbeknownst to you, this will strain the relationship and most assuredly will result in you feeling as though the other person is to blame. Self-preservation is the sole reason for this.

Self-preservation, although vital to our success in life, is also a hinderance to our progress. To quote the Bible, “the heart is desperately wicked…” (Jeremiah 17:9). As easy as it is to give, it is much easier to receive. This is what makes loving so difficult. The short of it all is that, the heart wants to do everything it possibly can to prevent itself from being broken. It will cause you to do a multitude of things in order preserve its sanctity and peace. At times this will most assuredly mean bringing harm (known or unbeknownst) to others. Why? Go back three sentences for the answer. It takes much more strength and courage to do for others than for self. This is especially true when you do it without expectation of anything in return. Most of us would argue that we are “good” people, and I would not contest that. What I would say is that, what makes this statement true is what you decide to do when it comes down to you vs. someone else? If you have a habit of protecting yourself, then I would suggest that you have a greater sense of self (selfish). If every once in a while you do this, then that only makes you human. The key is being able to recognize this and work towards a better you.